The Newly Leaked Rove Memo (from Bill Diamond)

Bill Diamond on Wed. Jul 20, 2:51 AM ET Huffington Post (of course, Arianna, dahling!)

Diamond: "I thought the timing of the Supreme Court nomination seemed a little suspicious. Well, we can't say we haven't been warned. "
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Date: July 15, 2005
To: President Bush
From: K. Rove (cc: VP R. Cheney, L. Libby, S. McClellan, Atty. R. Luskin)
Status: Double Secret Highly Classified
Subject: Operation “Keep Me The F*** Out of the Press”
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Memo:

Okay, as promised, here’s a rough schedule I worked up that should keep us out of hot water for the next couple of months. Remember, this list is fluid -- no one should get wed to specific dates. We'll want the freedom to shift things around as conditions on the ground change.

July 19: 43 ANNOUNCES HIS NOMINEE TO THE SUPREME COURT

Hat tip to Scooter on this one. Great idea. With any luck, this should get us through the end of the month. But I must say, sir, picking Appeals Court Judge ohn-Jay Oberts-Ray Unior-Jay is a terrific way to go. And I’m not just saying that so you’ll keep letting me appear in photo-ops with you.

Aug 1: VEEP CHECKS INTO HOSPITAL FOR “KNEE SURGERY”

We cover two bases with this one. Dick gets some long-overdue work done on his cranky joint and the networks go bat**** over the possibility that he’s actually having something more serious worked on... like his sense of humor. Just kiddin’, Dick. I like your jokes.

Aug. 7: EPA ANNOUNCES SOMETHING WE THOUGHT WAS INNOCUOUS IS ACTUALLY DANGEROUS TO OUR HEALTH

Bear with me. Still working this one out, but should be a doozie.

Aug. 12: SHARK ATTACK!

Okay, this one's out of our hands. But I figure it’s just a matter of time so we have to play this one as it lays.

Aug. 15: SOMETHING ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE

Again, not completely worked out yet but I’m sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something. Maybe get Dobson in on this one.

Aug. 19: 43 ANNOUNCES HIS SECOND NOMINEE TO THE SUPREME COURT
This will depend on what Rehnquist does. Or not.

There you have it, kids. Stay close, stay true and we'll all get through this.

KR

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