Reverend Al Sharpton, the Sitcom - I have been waiting for this for 15 years!

. . .
Okay, okay, here is my treatment for the show: Tawana Brawley will be played by Star Jones (she looks like death warmed over anyway after the gastric bypass run amok!) Eve will play a savvy, eubonic-spouting lawyer who is Al's muse and crusading hootchie-mama. The "stereotypical Rabbinical advisor" for white-folk fair play will be played by Ed Koch, former Mayor of New York, DA BRONX, Brooklyn, Bed Sty, Avenue A, Staten Island, Long Island, Mad-hattan Island! This is going to be good! Oh sh----! We need a gay publicist-- is Steven Cojahara feeling better?

----and yes, please cast Ann Coulter, who is really a man in drag (SEE photo op on the right)

From The Boston Globe's Boston.com - (liberals, ALL!) -Sitcom is perfect for Al Sharpton - Boston Globe

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LIFE IN THE POP LANE - Sitcom is perfect for Sharpton
By Renée Graham, Globe Staff December 6, 2005
If ever a public figure has seemed like a sitcom character, it's the Rev. Al Sharpton.

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Now, the longtime civil rights activist, former Democratic presidential candidate, and all-around media hog has announced that he's got a deal with CBS to film a comedy pilot, tentatively titled ''Al in the Family." Sharpton would play the patriarch of a family whose members hold conflicting social and political beliefs. Out of this premise, hilarity, as they say (and Sharpton and network suits hope), will ensue. [Damn, Archie Bunker will spin in his grave!]

In an interview with the New York Daily News, Sharpton said, ''I don't know if I'm a good actor or not, but I will be playing myself, and I've been practicing that for 51 years." And for much of the past two decades, the Brooklyn-born Sharpton has mostly been practicing in public.

In a world where a nobody can become a sort-of celebrity -- or, at least, a familiar nuisance -- for getting fired by Donald Trump, what could possibly be wrong with Sharpton, easily one of the most controversial and divisive figures of the past quarter century, as a sitcom star? Certainly, he already has quite the show business background -- Sharpton even made a surprise appearance with the cast of the Broadway musical ''The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" at this year's Tony Awards.

Years before, Sharpton was touring manager for James Brown. His close bond with the Godfather of Soul probably goes a long away toward explaining Sharpton's hair -- a fried, dyed, and processed coif that's a cross between the 'do of a pimp and a church lady. Sharpton's hair alone is its own comedy. Then, there was Sharpton's alliance with Michael Jackson, who in 2002, complained that Sony failed to properly promote his 2001 album, ''Invincible," and furthermore, accused the record industry of conspiring against black musicians. In the Jackson-Sharpton press conference, which could've doubled as a hair-care infomercial, the singer said, ''When you fight for me, you're fighting for all black people, dead and alive." (I'll leave it to you to insert the Jackson joke of your choice.)

And, of course, there was the event that first brought Sharpton into the national spotlight nearly 20 years ago. In 1987, Tawana Brawley, an African-American teenager, claimed to have been abducted and raped by a group of white law enforcement officials in upstate New York. Since Brawley, then 15, was discovered smeared with excrement, it became an even more sensational story, and Sharpton was right in the middle of it all, naming names (including an assistant district attorney) and hurling inflammatory accusations hither and yon.

In the end, a grand jury concluded that the whole sordid mess was a hoax, so this could be considered Sharpton's prototype of MTV's ''Punk'd." Or, maybe ''Jackass."

Miraculously, Sharpton, who has never rescinded his accusations, seemed undiminished by the debacle. In 1991, he founded the New York-based National Action Network to aid the disenfranchised and dispossessed, and led protests against police brutality, in particular two incidents involving the New York Police Department -- the brutal sodomizing of Abner Louima in 1997, and the 1999 death of Amadou Diallo, an unarmed man who was shot by police 19 times while reaching for his wallet.

After two unsuccessful New York Senate runs, Sharpton announced his candidacy for the presidency of the United States. Naturally, he was always entertaining -- he would've have been a great image consultant for John Kerry -- and throughout the 2004 campaign, he was one of the few bright spots amid same-old-song drone of his opponents.

During the debates, Sharpton would often say exactly what was on his mind since, having no chance of winning the nomination, he behaved with the enviable freedom of a man with nothing to lose.

Yet, who could have imagined that all Sharpton has done, for ill or good will, may have been a warm-up for his desire to join the ranks of Ward Cleaver, Archie Bunker, and Ray Barone as a lovable TV dad? Sharpton told the Daily News he embraces the sitcom format as a means of ''bringing a social message in a way that people can digest. . . . We'll talk about our differences and our commonalities." Following anything as confining as a script has never been Sharpton's strong suit, and it remains to be seen, if the pilot, once shot, will be picked up by the network for broadcast. [he will have to listen to the JEWS, WHO RULE SHOW BUSINESS!]

Still, it's yet another improbable chapter for the indefatigable Rev. Al, who has gone from charlatan to legitimate social activist, from wily presidential candidate to possible sitcom star. Sharpton has undergone more transformations than Madonna, proving yet again that there's always second, and sometimes third and fourth, acts in American lives -- unless you're Tonya Harding.

and that, my friends, is pure HighViz PR!

Renée Graham's Life in the Pop Lane column appears on Tuesdays. She can be reached at graham@globe .com

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